Anti-Bullying Awareness – 2021

8/22/2021

By: Anne Little-Page

Edited by: Kaitlin Graham

Several months ago, I blogged about my personal experiences with bullying and how it affected me. I’ve spoken with friends, people on social media, and even people who work as counselors about bullies.

While I am still learning about why people are bullied some questions I have remain. I wonder if my bullies changed or if they continued bullying others when they became adults.

Some of the people that messaged me or spoke to said their bully was apologetic and did change. Others said that the bully was still mean or acted like they forgot what happened.

Why do people become bullies?

Oftentimes I wonder if a demanding, power-hungry boss was a bully when they were younger and wants to achieve top hierarchy in their field. A co-worker that bullies other colleagues may have also been a former bully at school.

A lot of times bullies are unhappy and choose someone that they believe to be weak or insecure. Sometimes they want power and enjoy being the one that students look to and follow.

The person they are bullying may be a threat to them because they are not following them or is going against what is popular. Bullies may even be jealous that someone is standing out in some way that causes them to feel inferior.

Many famous singers and actors were bullied when they were younger. The bully may feel that they aren’t talented or are ignored in their life.  Someone getting praise from others may cause them to feel they aren’t the center of attention which could trigger them to start bullying someone else in order to make themselves feel better.

I’ve often wondered what goes through a bully’s mind when they look in the mirror.  Do they feel guilty for the pain they caused others that day? Does the bully raise their glass in the air and toast their victory?

Bullies need to realize that their words have power, and it often causes emotional and sometimes physical damage.  They need to listen people who were bullied and how they felt. They should take some time for self-reflection, and work towards self-growth.

Can I former bully fix their mistakes?

The bully should also make steps in trying to change and apologizing to those they bullied. Then they should show the person they bullied that they have changed for the better.

The people who were apologized to by a former bully said that they felt a weight had been lifted off them and that they had gotten closure. They also said that they were able to understand what motivated the bullies’ behavior such as abuse at home, neglect from others, low self-esteem, and other issues. Former bullies often say they feel guilty for what they have done in their past.

If you were a bully or are a bully, don’t think that you are stuck in that role. There is always room to change.

I believe each person has an opportunity to change their circle of influence. Whether it is at school, work, your neighborhood, or even online, when you see someone bullying someone else you should speak up for them. You should say to the person that is bullying that they should stop their behavior.

If you see someone crying or getting constantly harassed by someone, be a friend and listen to them. Let them know you are there for them. One small act of kindness could change someone’s life.